New York, again

A few days away, a lot of good food, and some overdue reflections.

Nov 19, 2025

I spent the second half of last week in New York and left incredibly full and happy. (As I always do.)

For context, I lived there in my mid-twenties, then again in my early thirties (right before my boyfriend and I officially started dating). It’s the city that feels most nostalgic to me, sometimes painfully so, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Do I think about moving back? Of course I do. But my life, my family, and my day-to-day are here in California. And New York is merely a five-hour flight away.

This trip was only 72ish hours, but we spent nearly every minute eating, wandering, and laughing our way through the city. Classic NYC mode. I still get emotional the second I touch down in JFK or whenever I see the city skyline lit up late at night. And every visit somehow tops the one before. So here’s a quick walkthrough of our days, and then a bit more on where my head and heart have been lately.

Day one

We took a red-eye into JFK because I wanted to wake up in New York on my birthday (can you blame me!).

We landed around 8 a.m., checked into The Hoxton early, grabbed flat whites, and walked straight to Apollo Bagels (ordered: everything w/ cream cheese and tomato, and a plain w/ butter + strawberry jam). We spent the late morning wandering around Williamsburg (vintage shops, bookstores…), before taking a much-needed midday nap.

Later that afternoon, we grabbed drinks and split a Danish dog + salty fries (yum) at TORST before my boyfriend’s surprise dinner at Misi (which is conveniently located below my old apartment). We shared pastas, several starters (roasted cauliflower w/ capers, anchovy, dried tomato, mint, and the charred escarole w/ butter beans, parmigiano) and mint gelato. Sat at the counter facing the kitchen.

(No photos because I let myself be fully in the moment.)

A perfect birthday.

Day two

Started in Manhattan at La Cabra (we’ve been dreaming about their cardamom buns since first trying them two years ago), then grabbed a plain croissant from Librae and more caffeine (this time, a matcha americano from 12 Matcha), before walking around the LES and West Village, and meeting my aunt (a resident of New York for 80+ years) for lunch at Jack’s Wife Freda. Lots of wandering after, a rainstorm, a long walk up to Bryant Park to peek at the holiday market (had to play tourist for a second).

That night, we grabbed drinks with friends in the West Village, then seemingly endless hand rolls at Nami Nori. Oh! Plus a pair of warm sesame chocolate chip cookies with flaky sea salt for dessert. Somehow each bite better than the last.

Day three

Started with a slow morning in Greenpoint—pastries from Radio Bakery and flat whites from Rhythm Zero. Took the train into the city for a few hours at the Whitney (obligatory), then back to Williamsburg for our long-awaited reservation at Four Horsemen. We had wine and all of the following (we take our ordering seriously): sea scallop + leek custard, green satsuma + asian pear salad, grilled squid skewers, wine-braised chicken with matsutake + puff pastry, golden beet salad, smoked eel (surprise favorite), and a passionfruit pavlova for dessert.

We spent the late afternoon people-watching at Domino Park before defrosting by the fireplace in The Hoxton lobby, then rallied for late-ish night glasses of wine at Sauced and a few heavenly slices from L’Industrie. Another perfect day.

Travel day

Devoción for coffee (forever nostalgic), one more Apollo Bagels stop, and lunch at Café Mogador before the airport. Landed in LA around 9, inhaled Erewhon, showered, passed out.

And somewhere along the way; traveling, wandering, eating, enjoying, I found myself thinking a lot about this past year. The highs, the lows, the in-betweens.

What it’s been like to work for myself. How much I’ve grown. How lonely it’s been at times. How much more intentional I’ve needed to be about creating a sense of community. And what I actually want my days to look like as we head into winter and, honestly, a new chapter in general.

This year has been a strange mix of gratitude and loneliness. On paper, so much has gone right—opportunities I dreamed about, more freedom than ever, the ability to work for myself and travel in a way I’m usually energized by. But I’ve also felt more isolated than I expected. I’ve started to miss being on a team. I miss the energy of other people in the room. I miss working towards a longer-term, shared vision.

When I left my last job and stepped into freelancing, it felt empowering—like I was choosing myself. But over time, it became easy to attach my entire identity to being a freelancer and feeling like I had something to prove. The pressure wasn’t external, but I definitely made it feel that way. It became all-consuming at times.

And because I’m sensitive (and historically not great with boundaries), I’ve found myself bouncing between extremes: craving community but also autonomy, wanting structure but also freedom. For now, I’m giving myself permission to maintain what’s working and reassess in January. Letting myself sit with questions like:

What would more in-person collaboration look like? Is a full-time role something I’d consider? Or am I still building toward something of my own that just hasn’t fully formed yet? I don’t know for sure, and I’m letting that be okay.

What I do know is that I need to bring more genuine fun back into my days.

Somewhere along the way—after leaving my job, after feeling the pressure to “optimize” everything—I forgot to enjoy things simply because I enjoy them. Even this Substack started to feel like something I had to shape a certain way.

That’s part of why staying off social media over this trip felt so restorative.

I noticed people. Interiors. Conversations. Fashion. Details.

But from my lens—not a lens meant to be shared, packaged, or posted. It felt grounding and energizing at the same time. It felt more sacred, personal.

It reminded me that I have more to give, more to experience, more to discover—but I can’t access any of that if I’m living inside the “shoulds.”

So lately, I’ve been starting my mornings by asking:

How can I make today as fun as possible?

Even errands. Even small things. That tiny shift has changed more than I expected. I’m listening to music over podcasts more often than not. Trying new hobbies. Making the effort to see friends more regularly. Volunteering at my local dog shelter. Taking myself on little dates (like the movies). Sharing when I want to share, not when I feel like I “should.” I’m starting to feel more like myself again, and it feels good.

I’m Jess, a brand + content strategist in LA. Thanks so much for being here, it means the world. Want to work together? Learn more on my website or book a 1:1 here. Find me on IG, TikTok, or browse my favorites. Until next time! xx

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